Friendship, continued.

(This discussion began with a blog post last February.)

Aristotle speaks of friendship with a strong concept of telos. The aim of friendship, like the aim of man as an individual, ought to be the pursuit of virtue. Of course, Aristotle’s definition of virtue is the mean between two extremes or vices. This language seems to mirror the Biblical concept of friends as iron sharpening iron (Proverbs 27:17) – friends should smooth out rough edges and extremes, narrowing us toward the mean of virtue. If this pursuit of virtue is to be the goal of friendship, and even more if that pursuit is to be the goal of man, one needs seriously to examine one’s friendships and the form they take.

Obviously, this conception of friendship does not mean one ought to ignore everyone that does not assist one in pursuing God and the virtue that comes from aligning oneself closer to Him. Christians are called to be in the world and to be a salt and a light (Matthew 5) to it. Thus, they must interact with the people around them and attempt to influence them for God. Christians are also, however, commanded to let our light shine. If in one’s interactions with people who do not assist one’s pursuit of virtue his light has no effect on them, he must seriously examine the reasons and the form of his interactions with them. This holds true for both Christian and non-Christian interactions.

This is not an attack on perseverance in witnessing and/or discipleship. If, however, one’s endeavors are having no effect, one must seriously examine the nature of the interactions to see if they are appropriate to the telos of the friendship and the individuals involved.

I fear this is a major problem at PHC. We are inundated with learning and information; we have chapel every weekday; we are surrounded by Christians. But are we pursuing virtue outside of class and chapel? Are we pursuing knowledge and understanding in our “private” lives? Are our friendships worthwhile? Are the interactions with our friends impulses toward virtue? or are they merely distraction from virtue? Class is not enough, chapel is not enough, church is not enough, “quiet time” is not enough. God stated at the creation of man that it is not good for man to be alone. Aristotle ties this concept to friendship by arguing that to live without true friends (those pursuing virtue together) is to miss out on life. We are commanded in the New Testament not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together but to exhort one another. I submit this means more than a spaghetti dinner after hearing someone speak at you for nearly an hour.

Struggling to pursue virtue and struggling to find friends with the same mind has been a long and difficult path for me. I can only imagine (hope?) that I am not alone.